I’m more acutely aware these day of any unease in my life.
I was reflecting recently on the sense of mild anxiety I experience when I am on emergency veterinary call. When the evening arrives and I’m getting ready to sleep, I wonder if my phone will ring or will I have my sleep disturbed? This anxiety is only a specific example of the general unease we often feel about what the future may bring.
Worry about future financial problems, our children as they grow up, our own health or the health of our ageing friends or relatives are just some of the fears that permeate our existence as a body in this world.
The source of our future fears are nothing to do with this world, but this is not often easy to remember.
It’s hard to be aware that the motivation for the creation of this world was to escape the fear in our mind. We blot out this awareness so we don’t have to consider the obvious question that the ego never answers: “if we identified with a body to escape fear in our mind how come we are still afraid?”. If we don’t know that we are a mind then the question of the failure of the ego’s strategy of leaving the mind never gets questioned.
Our part in making up this world was believing that the thought of separation could have actually attacked God and made him angry. We chose to believe that if we remain in our mind we will certainly be destroyed by a vengeful God. We made up this world so that we could project our mind’s attack thoughts onto seemingly separate people, events and our own physical bodies.
The ego’s plan is so good that when we realize that we are afraid in this world we have no idea why. We have no memory of our part in making up fear in the first place. We don’t remember we have a mind and if we did we would be so fearful recalling what we believe happen there that we would never return.
When we deal with fear in this would we unconsciously believe that it is more manageable that the fear of God in our minds. We adapt to the mild anxiety of our everyday lives and never look the ultimate hopelessness of our lives in a body: the certainty of death.
A Course in Miracle never wants us to deny our experiences of fear in this world by pretending that we are happy when we are not. ACIM want us to become aware of even the mildest twinge of annoyance so that we can trace back to our minds our mistaken choice for the ego over the atonement. When we are aware of fear we need to use that feeling as a motivation to undo fear at its source, rather than try to adapt to this world. The purpose of the miracle; to return us to the point in our minds where we can make another choice, to choose love instead of fear. Ultimately choosing to accepting the Atonement undoes the belief in separation. Our sinful past is undone and so our fear of the future is no more because we have chosen the healing of the holy instant.
Practically when we get caught up in the fear of the world we only need to have the little willingness to bring our dark fearful thoughts to the light of forgiveness so that they disappear. We do not have to let our thoughts of fear go but only focus on our willingness to chose the miracle. Our fearful thoughts disappear because they were never real in the first place. The ego only told us lies. We don’t have to fight against untrue beliefs or even let them go because they will quietly melt away when we are willing to accept that they were never true.
You who are steadfastly devoted to misery must first recognize that you are miserable and not happy. The Holy Spirit cannot teach without this contrast, for you believe that misery is happiness. T-14.II.1:2-3
What your remembering would witness to is but the fear of God. He has not done the thing you fear. No more have you. And so you innocence has not been lost. T-28.I.10:4-7
You are but asked to let the future go, and place it in God’s Hands. And you will see by your experience that you have laid the past and present in His Hands as well, because the past will punish you no more, and future dread will now be meaningless. W-194.4:5-6