Often people tell over and over again, the same story about how they were hurt, without realising that by telling their story they keep their pain.
Michael Murray calls this “rationalising” your pain and when he presented his teaching on Complete Forgiveness at the Miracle Network Conference last weekend, he helped me to see that what we rationalise we keep.
You rationalise your pain by deciding your grief, guilt, fear, depression, anger, shame, anxiety, loneliness and annoyance is a result of what you or other people said or did, loss of relationships, money, job or the death of a loved one.
We mistakenly think that making others and circumstances the cause of how we feel will make us feel better. We may seem to feel better at the time but our negative feelings are only hidden and will soon come back, because we are unaware that we have kept them by rationalising them.
Complete Forgiveness involves asking for help to see that all our negative feeling come from our inner belief in separation, sin, loss, guilt and fear. Then the miracle or forgiveness gently undoes our inner wrong beliefs and leads to an experience of joining and love.
I think it is really helpful to see that telling a story of blame is a choice to keep the negative emotion. We will of course choose, and it is a choice even if we do not know we are making it, to keep telling the story until we are ready to heal. Then the Holy Spirit will use someone, some situation or a board game like Miracle Choice to show us that we can choose healing rather than sickness, joy rather than pain.
So the next time you are tempted to repeat a negative story or join with someone else’s story of hurt, stop for a moment, and ask for help to heal rather than rationalise the pain.
Photo by Paul’s Pictures