What do you do when someone says “I’m sad because I want to feel more connected to you”?
When I feel connection to my children or my partner it is not because I’m connected to them. I am connected to love and love is expressed in the experience of feeling close to whoever/whatever is around me.
I can only feel connected to friends, family, sunsets, the ocean, the mountains, the food I am eating when I’m first connected to love.
When I say “I’m sad because we don’t have the connection we once had”, I’m confused! You may have noticed that sometimes others, especially children, don’t make a big deal of our statement even though we think it is extremely important!
When children don’t play along with our statement they’re saying:
“I’m easily connected to love. If you have lost your connection you can just get it back without bringing me into the picture and making me part of how you are connected to love. In the meantime I will just continue reading my book and eating my sweets. Come back when you are connected!”
Adults can be tempted to play the game of seeming connection:
“That’s nice you want to be more connected with me. It make me feel special and admired. I can go along with that. Will you do the same for me when I feel down?”
What game do you play?