When you’re upset with someone you see them as the cause of what you are feeling.
It seemed that you were fine until they said or did something that made you upset.
The words in the card message “You have to agree my upset is your fault.” show that you want the other person to agree to be the cause, so that they confirm your perception that you’re not responsible for how you feel.
If you can convince yourself that the other person is guilty, then you have to be innocent.
If they play along with the role you have assigned to them, you’re secretly satisfied.
You are looking for the slightest admission of guilt by the other person.
Maybe they’re not able to look you in the eye; maybe they get defensive or just plainly admit they’re at fault by saying “sorry.”
Now, no matter how much you seem to want to play this game, of who is guilty and who is innocent, it doesn’t feel good deep down.
It seems habitual, and it certainly seems to be your experience, but is it the only option?
The Miracle Key directs you to an experience that recognises choice: “It is I who decides how I feel.”
I must have made a decision to choose to be upset at some point in the interaction.
If I started the conversation feeling peaceful and then I ended up upset, I must have changed my choice during the dialogue.
At some point I wanted to take offence with what the other person had said.
I decided to confirm my self-image or my identity as someone who is vulnerable and easily attacked.
Is that my true identity?
A perfectly loving Self is incapable of perceiving attack.
I may not be able to easily remember my true identity when I feel hurt and upset but I can at least connect with the powerful part of me that made a choice.
Then I’m free because if I’m willing, I can make another choice, and see myself and the situation differently.
I have opened the door a little way, just enough to ask for an experience of love rather than attack, to see the other person as a loving being – just like myself.