I woke up one morning this week and I felt awful. I didn’t want to get out of bed or go to work. My thoughts were “What’s the point of it all? Why bother?” I knew I had chosen fear. I also knew part of the healing was to feel the pain that was the result of my choice.
Later on in the week, I suddenly had a fearful thought about the physical pain my son was having in his knees. I was worried and concerned. I was irritable with those around me. I felt the anxiety and the meaningless thoughts about what could be wrong. It was all pain. It was all my mistaken choice.
You need to feel the pain that results from choosing your ego. It’s part of the motivation for making another choice. If you make choosing the ego into something tolerable by denying how you feel or distracting yourself from your negative thinking, then you are never going to give it up.
A large part of the motivation for letting go of pain is of course knowing you’re going to feel better making another choice. But don’t forget healing starts with feeling the pain you’re now in.
I love the way Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School writes about feeling pain in one of her emails.
“One of my clients had a question for me.
She asked how she could stop overeating if she didn’t yet love herself.
I told her she had to let it hurt.
I told her she needed to feel her own lack of love.
She has spent the last several years buffering her pain with food.
When she takes the food away, she is left with the truth. The hurt.
But this is exactly what she needs to feel.
When she buffers it, she doesn’t change.”
“No one has difficulty making up his mind to let a simple problem be resolved if it is seen as hurting him, and also very easily removed.” T-27.VII.2:6