Part 1 was an attempt to answer the question “What makes your heart sing?”
One answer is: “Nothing makes my heart sing – my heart is always singing, but mostly I don’t want to listen to it!”
Why would that be?
The effort of listening to love’s song can seem like hard work, you may forget to listen, or even think there’s no song inside. You easily get distracted from focusing your inner awareness and instead want the song to be sung to you by others or something else outside of you.
Why is that?
Maybe you’re afraid?
Maybe you think listening to your heart’s song requires you to give up something, or lose something. In the words of the “The Forgotton Song” in A Course in Miracles:
You are afraid, believing you would lose the world you learned since then (since you stopped listening to love’s song). And yet you know that nothing in the world you learned is half so dear as this. Listen, and see if you remember an ancient song you knew so long ago and held more dear than any melody you taught yourself to cherish since. A Course in Miracle, Text 21. I. 7:3-5
Recently I discovered I was afraid of hearing my heart’s song when I looked at my work situation. I was trying to understand why I was having the same outer experience, even though I was trying so hard inside to allow change to happen. I knew that if any meaningful external change was going to happen, I would first need to change inside. Then I saw my resistance – I was afraid of love’s song.
You may have an uncomfortable experience or difficulty in your life which you know would change, if you listened to your heart. You’re attempting to change the situation, yet nothing happens despite all your efforts. You’re using visualisations, being positive and trying to let go of all your judgements but still nothing changes because you’re frightened inside. You need to consider the possibility that you don’t really want an inner shift to happen because you want everything to stay the same. You want change but you don’t, because you’re afraid!
Freud, the famous psychoanalyst had a surprise when he found out, by analysing his patient’s dreams, that even though they were spending lots of money and time on their treatment, they didn’t want to get better! Freud called this dynamic “resistance.”
It’s helpful to realise you’re frightened. Then you know that trying harder, criticising yourself, repeating visualisations and affirmations isn’t going to help. You just need to be kind and patient with yourself as you realise how frightened you are of the inner shift, that would result in you allowing change to happen.
I heard this question recently: “Are you trading “security” for happiness?”
Security is in quotations because it’s not true security. It’s the false sense of security that comes with things staying the same even though you don’t like what’s happening. Then you can’t have the inner happiness that comes with letting your heart sing.
So your uncomfortable experience will stay with you, until your fear of your inner song becomes less and love’s music is truly welcome. When your fear subsides, you will naturally listen to your heart’s song and change just happens.