I remember when I started looking for a meaning, a reason to be in this world that would transcend the ordinary survival. I felt very different from the rest of the world and lonely in my search.
I looked at the people around me and they seemed happy. Why did I feel I was lacking something? Rationally I didn’t lack anything. I had a job, a loving and happy family, a healthy son, financial stability, health, friends. Even so it was like I had a black hole in my being that sucked all my energy. The impression was that I was ungrateful towards the life that gave me so many good things.
That’s when I started looking for help. I always thought only mad people needed help from professionals and so I felt I needed to deal with everything by myself or I was would be just like them – mentally insane.
However, I was tired of that life where I looked for pleasure and avoided pain and, even when I was happy, it would soon disappear. I started therapy but wouldn’t dare tell anyone. Now I understand that was the first important step to start noticing that I could do something concrete and deep to understand and transform what I felt. Then one day I was introduced to a psychologist that worked with family constellation and that made me realize that my existential problem was, in fact, lack of self-awareness and spirituality in my life. I didn’t know how my mind worked and, even less, I never imagined I was actually missing my own self! That’s it! Because I didn’t know how to nurture my soul, I didn’t know how to feel at peace. I’d completely forgotten my real Being.
I then joined constellation groups and started reading many spiritual books. One of them touched me deeply: A Course In Miracles. And, talking to other people in the groups, I discovered that my distress and suffering weren’t exclusive to me. When I started opening up about what I was feeling and experiencing, I heard very helpful advice from people who had been through the same. I didn’t need to continue my journey by myself!
That’s why I decided to write to you, in case you’re going through a phase of deep sadness or feeling of loneliness. I see sadness as a positive thing because in my life it meant the moment I decided to be honest and admit to myself that I wasn’t happy. It was only from that courageous attitude of looking to my inner state with sincerity that I had the impulse to do something to transform it.
In spite of knowing that the answer is always inside each one of us, the connection with other people and even looking for professional help can be very helpful in our journey. As a Miracle Choice facilitator I’ve noticed that many players bring an intention that is seen as a problem. Be it a challenge in a relationship, a question they want to have more clarity about or a pattern they want to understand better. The fact is that every perceived problem is only a problem because we can’t see it from a different angle and, because of that, the game helps players so much. It’s just different lenses, an unattached way to look at the question without identifying with it. A real opportunity to choose love and notice that we were choosing fear.
So, if you feel lonely in this journey, know that this is your choice and that it can be changed any-time. When we say the world doesn’t understand us, maybe it’s because we’re not available to open ourselves and discover that we’re not alone. There are many people who go through the same things as us, just in different ways. I’m sure that you’ll have a similar experience: when you start opening up you’ll see that the journey can be much lighter and more pleasant if you can count on not only professional help but also on your many friends who are powerful and essential companions in your awakening.
by Julians Kurokawa
Insights and News
I’ve had many beautiful encounters during the last 10 days of my US trip – it has been full on miracle experience one day after another and I’m loving it! I’ve found much to my delight that I am able to be really comfortable and present with new people and places because I’m allowing myself to see everything from the perspective of Spirit. I’m reaching new heights of seeing just how much fun it is having Spirit as my travel companion! I have included a couple of videos below as an illustration.
So tomorrow (Saturday) I’ll be launching the new Pocket Edition at the Mystic Journey Bookstore in Los Angeles. The interest and support for this event has been incredible. It’s really flowing! A special thank you to Stephanie Swengel for arranging a place for me to stay in LA and promoting the event – she is a real net-worker for Spirit.
Much love, James, Catia and Juliana