You know that story of when we were kids and we looked up at our parents and we believed they were the most perfect beings in the universe?
For one thing, they really are perfect. They are the perfect parents for us. Like all people in our lives, I believe our parents are a response to a request we made on some level to remind ourselves of the Truth. It is also true that they are our most difficult classroom, but how many lessons have we learned from them!
However, as we grow up and understand a bit more about human nature, we mature and begin to look at people with a slightly more mature posture. We realize that as much as our parents strive to provide us the best, they are human beings as susceptible to mistakes as we are.
And thus, with a more realistic and less childlike view, we learn to truly love our parents. We love every single detail, even the ones we find most bizarre.
That should at least be the natural path of our growth and, in that sense, I would like you to ask yourself if you’re really mature in your relationships.
What I mean by this is if you have so many expectations with regard to your parents, friends, partner, colleagues, and neighbors that you relate with an image of a superhero and not to real people.
Do you realize how many expectations you have about the people around you? How much space do the people you believe you love have to move around? How much do you allow them to be themselves, without you trying to change them? How much of what you call love depends on how people behave?
Letting people be free means being mature in relationships and life.
It means that we recognize that nothing and no one has the power to change who we are. It means we know ourselves well enough to know that we also slip at times. It means that knowing that our ability to choose does not deteriorate over time, we can always choose again. And because we know all this, we do not expect other people to be perfect when interacting with us.
It is freeing to relate in this way, for we are free to choose what we want to think and feel and we allow the people we love to be free to love in the way they know.
And so I invite you to move from the fairy tale world into a real world where love flows freely and not in the way you imagine it should be.
The good thing about learning to relate to real people rather than to superheroes is that they really exist and therefore we can create real bonds and remind each other that we are all perfect in our beautiful imperfection.
By Juliana Kurokawa
James ans Catia have converted their garage into a studio space and it’s almost finished – just as well as next week Andreas Prohl, A Course in Miracles teacher, arrives from Germany to lead a workshop in the space on 16/17 March. James met Andreas last year and was very impressed with the way he facilitated groups. If you live locally you are very welcome to come along – more information on the poster below and by replying to this email.
Much love, James, Catia and Juliana