These days I have been thinking a lot about the limitations we impose on people around us.
Buddhism has drawn my attention, and especially how their concepts can help us create healthier relationships.
The earliest teachings of Buddha are known as the Four Noble Truths. The First Noble Truth is the truth of suffering, which says that we are all suffering and seeking happiness. Because we forgot Who we are, we can’t find peace.
In this way, we try to satisfy ourselves through impermanent things, and relationships are among the many objects we seek to ease our pain and to be happy.
However, when we choose something or someone outside of us and believe that this object or person has the power to make us happy, we live what Buddhism calls the Second Noble Truth: we build our own suffering. And why is this so?
If I choose a person, even if it is my own child, as responsible for my happiness, I will create the need for them to act in a certain way that I consider loving. Moreover, with that, I forget one very important aspect: we are all free beings and we are not here to serve another person, even if that other person is our parent.
So, I suffer for trying something that cannot work, that is trying to control someone so that this person never ceases to be a source of joy for me. When we put it that way, it’s very clear that the way we want to use relationships is insane, right?
But rejoice, for the Third Noble Truth points to the possibility of transcending our suffering and the Fourth Noble Truth teaches us the way to this liberation. The best part of this is that, if everything is in our mind, it takes only a shift of how to look at the situations and everything else changes. In addition, all that possibility is within us!
The problem is not believing that liberation is possible. We do not believe that it is possible to be free of our ego and our suffering.
The more autonomous our energy is, the more we stop projecting our happiness into another person, the more time we have for True Love, which will replace our attempts of control.
I want to try to be free and free the people I love from my “box of expectations”. How about you?
by Juliana Kurokawa, Miracle Choice Trainer and Facilitator
James is speaking live today, Friday 16 November (8am PST, 5pm Berlin time), at “Awaken to Love“, A Course in Miracles, Online Conference. He is one of 130 speakers! This is really an international event. If you have not registered this is a good time – still 10 days left to run.
Juliana has a recorded interview in the conference in Portuguese on 22nd November and in English on 23rd November. She is also on Saturday 24th November showing a video live with commentary!
Catia is organizing the Miracle Choice games which are being played on-line with our wonderful facilitators – many thanks to you!
That is probably enough about the conference!
Miracles Always, The Miracle Choice Team, Catia, Juliana and James