Never Fit In! Face it. You’ll never fit in. And that’s a wonderful thing. And there’s a very good reason why you’ll never fit in. There’s no such thing as “fitting in.” You see, objects fit in. Things fit in. Lumps of concrete fit in holes. Blocks of wood fit in containers. Humans cannot fit in, unless they have reduced themselves to lumps, numbed themselves to life and adventure and the ever-present possibility of transformation. Humans relate. Humans feel. Humans experience life firsthand, touch life where life is happening, have attitudes and perspectives that are ever changing, urges that are constantly shifting. Something alive and vital cannot “fit in,” no matter how hard it tries.
Therein lies the rub—and the freedom. The secret? Everybody is trying to fit in, and nobody feels like they fit in . . . even when they seem to fit in! Fitting in is not possible when you realize that you are alive and therefore have no fixed self, no constant shape, no “hole” with your name on it. Because even if you were to fit in, even if they finally let you into the club, at what cost would that come to your mental health, your sanity, your inner peace, your awakening? Would you have to play a role to fit in? Squeeze all that precious aliveness out of yourself? Numb your deepest longings and urges? Behave? Perform? Adapt? Be a good, very kind, or very “spiritual” boy or girl? Say the right thing? Hide what you really feel? Stop asking questions? Try to be something you’re not? Deny your true path? Stop exploring? Abandon yourself?
Did you ever really want to fit in, friend? If you were accepted, liked, approved of by others for the role you were playing, the persona you were carefully crafting, the “self” you were holding up, would it truly satisfy? Surrounded by a cast of thousands, playing an empty role devoid of truth, wouldn’t you still feel like an outcast, far from home? In the perfect relationship, yet having sacrificed your inner freedom and silenced your precious voice, wouldn’t you long to break free again? It’s delicious, ingenious, perfect, intelligent that you never felt like you fit in. It means that you were always alive, and therefore unique and irreplaceable, designed to resist any kind of labeling whatsoever, unable to be pinned down or reduced to a category. To paraphrase Groucho Marx, you’d never want to belong to a club that would have you as a member. Friend, I love your rebellious heart. ❤
JEFF FOSTER https://www.lifewithoutacentre.com/