For the last few months I went through a difficult phase at work. In my group, conflict and complaints were happening between some team members and myself. I noticed I was holding down my feelings and working hard to get along better with the team. I was striving, attempting to work faster and focusing to avoid mistakes. But none of my efforts were working. The relationships were not improving and the complaints were not going away.
So I just decided to accept and trust my feelings. I breathed in the tension. I let myself go deeper into the anger and frustration and found sadness and disappointment. I didn’t do anything to try and make the feelings go away. I embraced them in the way recommended by A Course of Love:
“There are but two ways to respond to what you feel —with love or with fear. If you respond with fear you expel, project, and separate. If you respond with love you remain whole. You realize that you have no feelings that are bad. You embrace sadness, grief, anger, and all else that you feel because these feelings are part of who you are in the present moment.”
My gradual acceptance of my feelings allowed me to have genuine compassion for the feelings of others. I sensed I was somehow also accepting their feelings as well. I was moving from blaming and finding fault to a quiet understanding that nothing is wrong. That right now, in the present moment, with the discomfort, the anger, the concern and the sadness I could accept what is. I had stopped judging my feelings.
With no resistance to my feelings and an openness to the feelings of others I found myself. A self that is comfortable with any feeling.
My practice each day is not to run away from a self that naturally embraces all feelings in every moment.
James Kelly, Miracle Choice
P.S. The quote from A Course of Love is from Day 16 in Book Three. I love the title of this day ‘Paradise Re-Found.’ And it is very interesting for me to see how much embracing all feelings is such a big part of re-finding paradise!