You can’t avoid feeling attacked at times. It is part of living as a human being in this world. Your response to being attacked, be it kind or defensive depends on who you see yourself to be.
During our recent family holiday, we spent a week on a small island in the West of Scotland. We had time to play a board game called ‘Catan’ every day. In the game if you roll a 7 with the dice, you are required to rob or ‘attack’ another player. This attack is a way to slow down the player who is ahead and to get a card from them. This game dynamic often caused some distress for the person who was attacked and sometimes discomfort for the player who was required to attack. In several games the roll of the dice required many attack opportunities which caused some strong feelings.
At one point I said to everyone including myself: “It would be less stressful if we didn’t take the attacks personally – they are just part of the game.” I don’t know if that comment helped but as we played more games during the week the attack moments were taken less seriously by everyone.
I am not suggesting that you just get used to being attacked (verbally or otherwise) or accept being attacked without responding.
I am suggesting that if you are not totally identified with being a victim then you can have a different experience.
If I can see the attack as happening to an identity which can never be attacked, then I am able to respond in a new way.
If I can see from the perspective of my invulnerable Self that my human identity is being attacked, then I am not just a person facing a hurtful situation. I experience a paradox: I know I am beyond attack and at the same time I experience I am a victim.
James Kelly, Miracle Choice
P.S. If you are feeling attacked, give yourself a gift and play the Miracle Choice game. You will experience that your feelings are held within the experience of a bigger Self. Reply to this email to arrange a facilitated game or buy the game here.